my name is Oliver Clean, and for the last 500 years I’ve been stranded on an Island, with only one goal: Survive!
And what an ambitious goal it was, to survive for five hundred fucking years!
Yet I did. I’ve overcome rains, storms, sunburns, wild animals, wild sex dreams (it can get lonely on an island, ye know…)
And after 500 years of solitude, self-hardening, and boredom, I have achieved a state of Nirvana.
Suddenly, I had all these super-powers:
- To smell bullshit from 500 miles away.1
- To shoot mental arrows into the timelines and see what becomes of that bullshit.2
- To wield my pen better than a sword.3
But the most kick-ass super-power: I can look really grim!
Yes, ma’am! My look alone is punishment!
Hm… That last sentence didn’t come out right. I actually have a rather pleasant appearance. Which is why I need dark make up and a hood to awe. But I’m digressing.
Anyhow… Here I am. Shaped and hardened by the very tides of nature, I’ve discovered my life’s mission:
To clean this city of corruption, deception, and hypocrisy – using nothing but a pen.4
My name is Oliver Clean, and I am The Grim Arrow.
- That’s right! One mile for every year spent on that island! I fucking deserve it! [↩]
- Oh yeah! There is some serious quantum-level flux capacitor shit going on there! [↩]
- But then, I’m no good with the sword, so this is less of a point. However I decided I need 3 bullet points here, so suck it up. [↩]
- And a keyboard. And a tablet. And the Internet. But not a sword, or a bow. [↩]